How Dungeons & Dragons Saved My Life

Dungeons & Dragons is a game that most times gets a bad rap. I understand why- it is totally dorky (as it is a game that involves fantasy elements like, well, dungeons and dragons). One creates a character, which requires at least two hours, a set of dice that comes in many shapes and sizes, and a complex calculator. The types of people who usually play this game are not very social and emit a smell that I dubbed, 'The Funk.' My brother is one of these people, only not as smelly. Stating that, Dungeons & Dragons was a game that most likely saved my life. 

Promoting abstinence since 1974.

When I was a youngster, I became heavily involved in the gang lifestyle. At the age of fourteen, I was jumped into an the Surenos. A decision I made because my family fell apart and I was completely lost. The guys in the gang filled what I needed, the role of a family; They fed me, clothed me, and made me feel important. Because they took care me, I did whatever they needed me to, which led me to get deeper and deeper in that life. Violence and drugs were my life for a lot of years.

The years of addiction and mayhem finally took their toll on me. I realized that the gang life was very destructive and seeing what it did to my friends I knew I had to leave. Even though it took me a lot of years to realize it, my life was worth more then a color and a number. After a few events that threatened my life, I was out. Along with leaving the violence, I kicked all addictions to drugs and alcohol. Figured if I cut out one bad part of my life, may as well cut out all the bad at once.

I have to admit, that once out I was miserable. Funny thing, violence and drugs filled up a lot of my time and when these two aspects were gone I now had a lot of free time. The problem with idle hands, while trying to kick substances, is that there are many temptations to fall off the wagon. During this time, my brother would ask if I would like to participate in his gaming sessions. At first, I would give my brother my usual answer of calling him a nerd. 

Pictured: My brother LARPing as a white nerd.

Addiction is a funny thing. The more time I spent alone, with my thoughts, the more I really wanted to get intoxicated. It got to the point where I was seriously considering huffing various household cleaners to get high. One night, after sweating out some addiction pains, my brother asked me again if I would like to play Dungeons & Dragons. Instead of my usual insult, I told him that I would. Surprised, and then a little excited, he said it would be a pleasure. I asked him if I needed anything. He had me covered and away we went.

My first night of D&D was a whirlwind of feelings. It was very overwhelming mix of awe, disdain, Mountain Dew, and wonder. There was about six other people, not including my brother and I. I didn't make a character as I was sitting in as an observer. Their party was fighting a very large Black Dragon (In D&D, dragons are color coded according to difficulty) while trying to cross a bottomless ravine. Said dragon had just melted their Dwarven Cleric down into a puddle of goo. The group spent most of the night arguing about what was the next action to take. Now I have to state that this is all going on in the players' imagination. None of what I described was visible. It was all taking place in their heads and on the calculations they were pounding out on the character sheets. My thought was how great this game would be if the players were on some hallucinogenic.

"I cast Magic Missile, man.

The session finished late that night- around two in the morning. The group was very friendly and was curious about how the night went for me. I smiled and told them I would get back to them. My brother was pretty excited as this was one of the first nights we really spent together in a lot of years. Not wanting to break his heart, I told him I had fun. We went home and I went to bed, my head swimming with the night's events. Even though I didn't know what to think, Dungeons & Dragons gave me one thing I haven't had in a good month- an occupied mind.

The next morning, my brother and I talked about Dungeons & Dragons. I had a million questions about all the nuts and bolts of the game, which there are millions of them. My brother helped me roll up a character (a lizard man barbarian) and called his group about the newest addition to their party. They were all very excited. I found it funny that to join this gang, I would not have to be jumped in. Seemed like a pretty good deal to me. By that weekend, I was ready.

That weekend, we headed over to the game. I will admit, once I got over my initial embarrassment of role-playing as a giant club wielding, sass talking Barbarian which made the game was very enjoyable. My character killed a few bandits and got drunk with my fellow Dwarven Cleric, who was cured of his melted state. When the game was finished, I told the group that I had a great time and if they would have me, I would love to be a part of their group. I could see my brother swell with pride. Funny, I was happy to make my brother proud, even if it was playing a game of make-believe, fighting invisible monsters.

My Lizardman barbarian: Carlos Mencia.

At this time in my life, Dungeons & Dragons was a God send. It was the perfect game for an addict. D&D was complicated enough where it occupied my time and, more importantly, my mind. When I wasn't playing the game, I was thinking about future actions my character could take in any giving situation, or coming up with an interesting and engaging back story for my Druid. The bite of addiction was always there and would manifest itself in the nipping at the back of my mind, or getting chills and sweats as I was reading up on D&D supplemental books. As time went on, however, and my mind was filled with worlds of fantasy and adventure, the pain of my previous life was not as loud as it used to be.

My brother also got me into other various games. Warhammer 40k, a futuristic miniatures war game, that required one to not just buy the figures, but to build and paint them as well. This was another game that really helped as it took a lot of time to play. Magic the Gathering, a fantasy card game that is inhabited by spells and various monsters that are used to fight your opponent. Mordheim, which was Warhammer's fantasy cousin, that was a great blend of Dungeons & Dragons and Warhammer. These games were all great for keeping my body and mind busy.

Not only is Warhammer a fun game, it makes amazing heavy metal album covers.

Not only were these games amazing for letting me escape from the world I just left, but they helped develop attributes I had thought were long dormant. Ever since I was a little kid, I loved to write and create stories. My mom said that if I were to live back in the olden days, I would have been a great story-teller in my tribe. I use to write all the time and did so up until the moment when I was sixteen, and in a drunken rage, burned all my writings and stories. This was such a stupid decision and something I regret to this day. Playing Dungeons & Dragons forced my imagination to kick into overdrive, and reignited that spark to write and create. It felt like exercising a muscle that I had not worked in a long time, it burned and was sore the day after.

I cannot thank my brother enough for introducing me into the world of Dungeons & Dragons. Not wanting to sound melodramatic, but I would have died without it as I would have slipped back to drugs and entered the world of gangs once again. My brother was always there when I needed him most and he, and his nerdy game, saved me. I love him with all of my heart and no amount of thanks will ever express what him and his 'stupid game' have done for me. I would also like to thank the creators of D&D and all the people who contribute to it and have made it the game it is. They not only saved my life, but have given me a new outlook on life and have ignited my imagination and creativity.

History of drug abuse combined with imagination.